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How to Get on Transsexual Hormone Replacement Therapy Relatively Easy

Having gone through hormone therapy replacement myself, I want to offer some tips for those who are serious about transitioning.


This article is designed for the transsexual who is looking to get on hormone replacement therapy relatively quickly and easily. I discuss a number of systems that may be available to use in your community. More often than not, if you live in a giant metropolitan area, you will be able to get onto hormone therapy using the first method relatively easily.

The reason why one would want to get on hormone replacement therapy quickly is to alleviate much of the stress of being in the wrongly sexed body. I use this terminology because the term "a woman trapped in a man's body" seems foolish to me. We all start out as prototypical female in the womb and we develop due to the pattern that the predominant hormone therapy provides for us. Therefore, a transsexual girl who starts her hormone therapy before puberty will look almost indistinguishable from any other girl. The body can feminized to a point with hormones and/or surgery so I would not even call my body a "man's body" even though I am a male-to-female transsexual.

I know this information because I myself have been on hormone replacement therapy and have had sex reassignment surgery without any need for a therapist at all. I am speaking from personal experience and have no intention of retracting anything I say since it is 100% true and correct to the best of my knowledge. I do hope this helps!

A Very Serious Warning Before You Begin

Please, please, please understand that this advice is intended only for the seriously gender dysphoric and those who understand that they are transsexual. If you have any doubt at all about your transsexuality do not seek out hormone replacement therapy and contact a therapist to discuss your situation. Many universities offer therapy to the general population on a sliding scale. There is a high cost for those who transition but are not transsexuals and Lynn Conway explains this better than I can.

Also understand that it is highly recommended that you consult a doctor at all stages of your transition to ensure that you are doing the right thing, being monitored for any abnormalities that hormone replacement therapy may cause and that you are physically fit and able to have any therapy that you seek.

In summary: Remember that in the end, you are the only one responsible for your own health and you are the one to suffer the consequences if you do not listen to good advice. In other words, don't blame me if you fuck up!

Your Main Enemy: The Harry Benjamin Standards of Care

The enemy that will keep you from getting any treatment easily is commonly referred to as the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care. It is drafted by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), formerly known as the Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association (HBIGDA). They require unnecessarily high levels of therapist intervention before they will allow you to access any care and quite a few doctors in this country require the Standards of Care before they will do anything for you.

Do not lose hope though as there are a few doctors and clinics that can provide you with hormone replacement therapy without any therapist requirements or with little therapist requirements. I will go over some of the more common non-SOC systems out there to give you an idea of what options you have.

Option 1: The Tom Waddell Standards

The Tom Waddell Standards govern hormone therapy and give a general overview of transgender health concerns. This was initially designed by Dr. Tom Waddell who worked in the free/low-income clinics of San Francisco and this was developed with all transsexual people in mind. Today, there are a few clinics other than homeless clinics that provide services to transsexual people under the Tom Waddell system.

I started my hormone replacement therapy at a clinic using the Tom Waddell system without even being aware of it. I started my HRT in November 2007 at Dr. Hunter Hammill's office in Houston, Texas with no therapist requirement imposed on me. It was however a requirement that I attend a few support group meetings in the Houston area which I have before my appointment.

Option 2: Clinics and Providers That Don't Give a Damn

There are clinics out there that either do not require therapist intervention at all or require therapist intervention that does not fall in line with the standards of care. Basically, if you cannot find a clinic or provider in your area that follows the Tom Waddell standards, this is your next best option. Finding these clinics are difficult since they do not advertise what their requirements are.

One thing I would recommend is that you talk with people in the local transgender community to find a doctor that does not care about therapist requirements or has low therapist requirements. These doctors are not uncommon but can be tricky to find. If, however, no one knows of provider or clinic which would accommodate this requirement it is highly suggested that you starting phoning clinics and providers in your local area to find one that will provide services to you at no or low therapist requirement.

Generally, OB/GYNs and alternative medicine doctors have a higher level of acceptance—especially if they are curious enough to want to learn from the experience. It is highly suggested that you bring them a copy of the Tom Waddell standards so they will have something other than the Harry Benjamin Standards to reference. Ask the clinics and providers with low therapist requirements what they will require and what a letter would need to state in order to get care.

When I say low therapist requirements, what I mean is less than three appointments needed to get services. This can be done with a simple sanity check, which a friend has had in order to get her hormone replacement therapy.

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I continued my hormone therapy while living in Seymour, Indiana with an Alternative Medicine specialist at the Schneck Medical Centre. I knew about this from talking with another transsexual woman who was helping me with my name change and a number of other transition issues. He did not care about therapist letters or anything like that and he provided me with a three-month script for my hormones.

Option 3: Fake Letters

Remember that this should only be used a last resort in the event that Options 1 & 2 did not work for you. I would remind you that most doctors go through tedious amounts of education and training and may not be easily fooled. But then again, if there can be religious doctors - that is proof that there are gullible doctors. If people in your general area are stupid it can work if you make your own letter.

The Aftermath and an Epilogue

Given the number of views this article has received since I published it, I feel it prudent to make a few designations here, just for clarity's sake. You should never, and I do mean never, self-medicate. That's very dangerous, as our bodies are reliant on hormones in order to function. You can suffer a number of problems if you take these drugs without a physician's supervision.

Furthermore, the SOC expresses a paternalism in the psychological and psychiatric industry, that they need to protect us from ourselves. It's a paternalism that I don't particularly care for and I believe that transsexual people should not have to go through these hoops because they have no basis in science.

I look forward to the day when we can serve rural communities by telemedicine, which is already being tried out by Planned Parenthood. This technology can serve transsexual people in rural communities.

But finally, I would like to say how flattered I am by the trust many of the people who have contacted me through this article asking for advice. I'm sorry that I could not help you, as I am not aware of many physicians who are brave enough to provide these services in many American metropolitan areas. I do hope, one day, to start making cold calls to certain health professionals (endocrinologists and Family Medicine doctors) to get more information about what physicians provide these services without a therapist's letter. But until I get the time to do that, I simply don't know. But thank you very much for trusting me with your stories and requests all the same.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.


jayne parris on September 05, 2019:

ive been dressing all my life so I changed my name to jayne and im dressed all the time now I just need to go all the way ?

Darren C. on August 26, 2019:

I'm a ftm individual who's in desperate need of finding a place where I can possibly get a referral for HRT. I live in Cincinnati, Ohio, so if anybody can tell me the places I can go to, it would be much appreciated.

Thomas K. on January 07, 2019:

I'd like to thank you. I've been doing my research, because I'm still young and in a home where I'd sooner be killed than put on T, but when I finally move out next year I plan on looking into transitioning. I've always had a hard time with therapy because it makes me uncomfortable as I'm not a very 'open' person, so I'd been hoping there was some way I could begin T without having to go through it, and I'm glad that I have options.

Dee Jamison on December 23, 2018:

Im 38 and ive been trying to transition since i was 9 yrs old im looking to start to get my hormones started i have straight Medicare my phone number is 626-455-8864

Jasmin on December 18, 2018:

I want necomw a fulltime lady npt jist a cd

Juno Karklin. on August 11, 2018:

I laughed seeing all of the bad grammar here. I wanted to give you a proper thank you for writing this article. It's given me lots to think about. I am willing and able to even do somewhat risky things to accomplish the task of gaining a female body. I am wholeheartedly thankful that I found this. May your future lead you to great places in life. -Juno Karklin 17

Calvin O'Neal on July 26, 2018:

I am a crossdresser. I enjoy wearing female cloths full time, but I need to have more of a feminime body. To obtane this, I feel out of place not being able to have the look that I need.

Clayton on July 03, 2018:

I'm tired of doing things for others now I want to do things for my sealf.and wanting to be a feamaile is the one thing I've wanted most in life.

Larissa on June 15, 2018:

I want to let the inner girl out.

Lawrence Pugh on May 31, 2018:

O am a very unhappy man! I have no interest in women and i am attracted to mem.

Gillian on May 31, 2018:

53 desperatly wanting to live mtf .Not just xdress when i know family arnt dropping in .Once i start i know they will accpt me.Im so un happy,have been from 13 when i knew.As i dressed and took my mate in every way.I cant talk to my dr ,i may buy on line:(

William Beck Aka Jennifer on May 23, 2018:

Hi My Practically Whole Life I've known I'm a Woman I've always felt Uncomfortable as The Male Gender and Body I was given I'm 29 now and I'm lookin to transition Finally now that I have a Gf that Accepts me for me I'm skinny and I'm Transsexual and A Adult Baby Diaper Lover who fits Baby Training Pants I'm Nomatter what going to Start Hrt Therapy and I'm getting Drs set up an I'm gonna go with your one option and I'm may start with New Dr watching Monitoring me gonna Self Medicate with Drs Advice etc

Victoria on April 21, 2018:

Hi my name is Victoria I'm m2f I'll b 50 in October I'm not on treatment at the mo because of my mental health I have eupd and hear voices wen I'm around ppl for to long tho i hear voices everyday but they are worse wen around ppl, I'm worried that i will never be able to go on hrt because of my eupd and it scares me to death

Traci Luvzcum on April 13, 2018:

I am a m2f transsexual who is desperate to find someone who is prepared and willing to provide me with a supply of oestrogen tablets. I am so desperate that I have given my body to a local pimp who is able to arrange meetings for me to give my body to gentlemen who will use me as a female whore on a regular footing and enable me to buy hormones from business friends of my. pimp.

Butch on March 11, 2018:

I have been on female hot.for 25 years and I looking for a turn me into a woman all the way 24/7

Martin on February 13, 2018:

i need help too, im ftm and i want to get on t quuuiicckkk, how do i do it

Fred Lalonde on February 04, 2018:

Hi I'm trying to get mtf hormones and don't know how? Is there anyone who can help me. I want to become a full time woman. I don't know the process. I need to know step by step instructions such as where to start, therapy, clothing, makeup, surgery, etc. If anyone can help please let me know

kallen on November 15, 2017:

hello everyone, im a 34 year old male and ive wanted to get mtf hormone treatments all my life i even had a gf who supported me and was the only bright spot in my life. ive been thinking very hard about getting treatments, but where im 34 now im a bit stand offish of it. but i feel so STRONGLY that i just cant take it anymore that i have to do this. i sometimes feel im about explode its so much. im hoping to take this information and get started. the middle of this year i almost decided to self medicate, but i knew better, and everywhere i looked people said dont. so thank you everyone for stopping me.

Jennifer on November 04, 2017:

I'm looking get hrt but I don't know how and where can anyone help me?


cassandra on October 23, 2017:

hi i have been trying to get on fht for two years ,just resently I have seen my gp who sent me to a psychiatrist who said to me she would refer me to a endocrinologist then a week later told me I had to see another psychiatrist .this initial change of her mind really hurt me emotionally and I am still struggleing .I am not young but I have been struggling with my sexuality for ages and realise who I am [a woman] but I cant move on .is there any place in western Australia where I can procure female hormones so I can move on with my life .

Breanna on September 24, 2017:

And I've been taking hormone on and off roughly four years I am steadily on Esther Doyle and Sparrow locked on and everything's going great I can't wait for the surgeries thank you don't give up no matter what anybody tells you you can't do it if it's what you want go for it just go for it they'll help you

Sasha Lewis on July 09, 2017:

hello there,

so I have a question. I live in Mauritius (small island south east of South Africa) where there are no clinics that specialise or offer treatment for transgenders. Is there an option where I could get a prescription from a generalist and order the hormones online?

:( please help me, I'm a little desperate and I do not know where to turn to to get help.

Kandi White on July 05, 2017:

I need, want hrt so much! iv bn trannsgendered

Jo on June 25, 2017:

Hi. I am new to the mtf i have never felt right in my male skin I looked up srs and been studying I have related to so many stories of transgender over the past three years I have come to terms that this is who I am I came out to family about a month ago it went great I have a very supportive family I am seeing a therapist I am excited for the feuture any one know drs. In se Idaho that prescribe hrt thanks

walkerbooy on May 11, 2017:

hello i wanna ask from where can i get hormone male to female drogstore? what is name the medicale ? plz answer me? :)

Edward Carlson on April 21, 2017:

All this reminds me of my experiences trying to buy a house. What I kept hearing was that I didn't make enough money . Theses requirements are there to protect both patient are provider from harm and or legal action but it also feels like a conspiracy to discourage people seeking transition. A more open-minded public reaction would greatly reduce the likelihood of attempted suicide amongst the transgender community. I understand that this the reason for psychological counseling and evaluation. These things make the cost impossible for some to deal with. Insurance companies and their terms for care and what they will pay for are another major obstacle. I needed but could not get eyeglasses for years because employee insurances would not cover eyecare unless the eyes were injured on the job.

Tiffany Williams on April 11, 2017:

Hi I was just asking how can I start my hormones and we're to get them

jose on April 10, 2017:

this was good to read I'm 34 years old now I'm been off hormones for 7 years now and been liven life as a man and I hate it I just don't feel like one wen I was in 3rd grade I didn't feel or ack like a boy and started to act on wat I was feeling and it was a women I loved it and start cross dressing by 13 I felt competed even though u was able to tell at that time I look a little like both I didn't being what I felt I was that's alll that matter to me I didn't care then I started bying them from other ts girl till I was 18..then went to go get them from doctors was on them and became a real looking women went on to ha e a real life it was amazing but now my life is so diff I want my life I don't look like a women no more but i'dk how and wer to go it's been so long on March 25, 2017:

I was interested and curious about change from male to female so I guess you look up specialist alternate medicine in the web

Perdia James Keller on March 20, 2017:

I am a female even though I have been off the hormones for awhile my mind an body craves to feel better thank you for your advice

janil on March 07, 2017:

I would like to do my own self medicting and wondering how can I get hormones. My doctor however has agreed to assist me in this with labs and all other testing to ensure my safety and that this doesn"t affect my overall health.. Can someone please help me with this.. I live in GA

Calvin O'Neal on February 22, 2017:

I have been trying to find hormones but do not know how to get any. Coukd you tell me how

WorriedMom1945 on January 25, 2017:

I'm not homophobic, genderphobic, transphobic or anything like that. What I am is a very concerned mom. My eldest child is transgender, on HRT and although I, myself don't personally understand, I accept and I love unconditionally. I can't imagine what it must feel like to be born one gender, but have no connection to that gender other than what you were physically born with. It has to be terribly hard, lonely (if your family and friends don't support you), depressing.

My worry comes with my third child that suddenly decided they were trans. This child has been through a lot of emotional trauma. Seriously injured in an accident when pre-teen, loss of father at 13. Bullied in school because they were "weird", but not due to questioning of gender, just an odd duck. Very involved in choir throughout jr high and high school. When my child graduated, choir went away and they found they had nothing to do and not many friends.

Prior to graduating they were hospitalized twice, self mutilation and suicidal thoughts, very hard senior year. My child has been hospitalized about 10 times total now. Been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia... has had hallucinations as well as fantasies or day dreams of murdering the entire family. Even with all of this, it's my child and I love my children unconditionally. About 8 months ago, one of their friends came out as trans. My child really likes this friend and told them so, the friend said they were not interested in them, the gender. Six months ago my kid decides they're trans. Started changing clothing, the way they look and started obsessing about being trans and starting HRT. saw a gender therapist twice, first time gender never came up, second time referred to endocrinologist who said they saw no approval in system for HRT from counseling. Went back to counseling and they said because they were hospitalized due to suicide attempt two months prior then being 5150'd a few weeks before AND because medication is not taken regularly, they're not sending approval for at least a year.

We've moved, new insurance and saw psychiatrist once and referred to endocrinologist, no questions asked. I'm very concerned. This child has been accepted into the trans community online, FB, Twitter, tumblr and many transgender forums. I feel like my child just wants to be accepted... be a part of a group, it was Mormons for a while. My child just turned 20 and I honestly don't believe that they are trans. I believe that my kid wants to belong to a group and honestly the trans community is very accepting and encouraging.

My kid has serious mental problems that are not under control. They have only recently talked about or decided that they were trans. Trans YouTube videos are all they watch and all they talk about, like all day, every single day. I'm really trying to be supportive, but I don't think this is a decision to be made so quickly. I've found out that my child has lied to previous therapists and mental hospital therapists and social workers about many things, but to say they've felt this way for years, dressed this way for years, it's a lie. If my child cannot be honest with the therapists, how in the world are they being honest to themselves about who they really are?

As I said at the beginning, I do have another, older child that is transgender and I support them. It just scares the hell out of me how easy it's seeming to be for my kid with mental issues, to get on HRT. I'm really very worried.

Worried Mom

Eske on December 24, 2016:

Does anyone know any hormone doctors in the Austin (TX) area who don't require confirmation by a gender therapist?

Daniah Navarro on December 04, 2016:

Great article it helped me enormously :-)

Kacy Aerin on November 26, 2016:

I'm 48 and I have struggled with my gender identity my whole life, its caused me anxiety and held me back from living life to its fullest.

I'm not hyper-femme, im more butch, but there are alot of ways to "be a woman"

I've been more or less androgenous for years, but have periodically sought out therapy or support groups.

I had one counsellor tell me I was really gay and "confused" (I'm def bi). Another counsellor called me a liar. Since I dress butch,support group sisters have rejected me for not dressing in skirts and heels ("why would you want to be a girl and dress like THAT")

I had planned to self medicate and a good ts sister talked me out of it.

Thank God I finally found a medical services provider who gets it. I told her my story and she wrote me a script for estrogen on the first visit. Over the next 6 months we'll increase the dosage, add spiro and finastride. With documentation from the clinic my health insurance is covering treatment. It only took 2 weeks to straighten things out with them.

I'm so happy to be receiving hormones under medical supervision.

I feel happy and grateful and am becoming much more comfortable with my place in this world.

Jessica Joy Jefferson on September 05, 2016:

i live in Bahrain, where i am not allowed to be transgendered at all! i live here because of my family setting up a school in Riyadh and a school in Manama. i do not know what to do! i was back in New Zealand for a holiday for a short time meeting all of my transgendered friends at tranzform, but now i am back in a prejudiced country that wont let me be who i really am. i am completely cut off from any moral support here. it upsets me greatly: i know that i would make a beautiful woman, but my family is not very supportive of me. My father, mother and sister just say that i look like and walk like a "gay man" when i dress as a woman. They also want to force me to continue working at the Multinational School and seeing the man that i love (who will never love me back. i really need to change in order to find my own man.) at work, with me dressed as a man. i really, really do not want to do that. i don't want to go out tomorrow for my birthday, either. i will be forced to dress as a man if i go outside. No one in my family sympathizes with me at all! i have mild Aspergers, so it does have an effect on my independance and social skills. But i want to go to the UK to fix that, by going to the Priory group to help me with my OCD, depression, anxiety and autism. i also want to try TMS to help erradicate some of my Aspergers if possible. i can't do either of those things in Bahrain. My last pyschiatrist was a lunatic! She told all my secrets to my maid, gave bad advice and said that i did not need medication.

i am hoping that i will be able to start living in New Zealand and taking hormones by December this year. But my mother does not like the idea and both her and my father refuse to think of me as their daughter. One moment they promise to help me pay for my hormones and surgery and the next they are saying i should pay for it all. They are a bunch of liars. And both of them keep on calling me by my male name and using male pronouns, even when i am dressed as a woman! My father says he is liberal, but he does not apply that to the transgender issue. He also ignores the fact that i told both him and mother multiple times that i am a woman in a man's body. Mother does, too! i always used to play with Barbie dolls as a child, i loved girly things, i loved being the princess in a play, i used to wear girl's clothes, i would wear my mother's makeup, i would wear my sister's makeup and i hated the sight of my genitals. i still do. i can't do anything that i want to do in this body. i also used to be forced fo line up in the boy's line at school and i hated that. Another thing i did was to erase my name on my workbook and write a girl's name there instead. i also loved being thought of as a girl by others.

i can't wait for the day i can wear Manolo Blahnik shoes, Chanel clothes and Fendi fur coats. i can't wait for the day i can have a handsome boyfriend, who will one day be my handsome husband. i hope to one day be thought of as a woman and hang out with the other girls fully as a girl. i want to be loved and made to feel beautiful. This bigoted country prevents me from doing that. i hate the Middle East and i hate islam! Because of it, i can't be who i really am. And my parents have very few qualms about the lack of rights i have! They don't believe i am trans at all! They keep on accusing me of being a gay man, when i am not attracted ro gay men and i don't like the idea of anal intercourse! i am alone and afraid.

i went to a pyschiatrist today in Bahrain with my sister who said that they could fix my OCD and also fix my depression with mood stabilizers. I was hoping to be able to start HRT in December this year or January next year, but my mother said on the phone to me and my sister after my session that she did not think I could start it until a year from now! But I am 24 already and I am worried that if I get much older, it will be harder for me to pass as female. I also don't want to get too old where a gorgeous looking guy won't love me and I will npt be considerd youthful or pretty anymore. She thinks that 6 months is the minimum. I am also sick and tired of beimg addressed as a male and not being allowed to wear women's clothes.

What can i do to make my family see the light?

Jessica on September 05, 2016:

Hi there people!

Biannica Marie Feringa on July 26, 2016:

I have been living as a woman for over 20 years off and on as I have had to hide who I am so that way my family would not find out I just would like to be able to finally had the chance to be a woman because I was born in a man's body and knew that I was always meant to be a woman and I just would really like to be out of just get this change done and over with and I know that it starts with the hormone therapy and the estrogen levels in my estrogen levels are that of a woman almost anyhow so I am asking that maybe somebody might be able to give me some insight as to what I can do I had to hide everything from my father to this way he would not disown me as he gave me the same name as him I was born Robert Eugene Feringa Jr and I had a struggle because I knew that my father would disown me if he ever found out so now 20 years later and looking so much forward to being able to be who I was truly meant to be and I just want to get this done and over with so this way I can be happy again

Marquis penn on April 27, 2016:

I really put all my trust into you guys thanks

nicole espinola on February 13, 2016:

i want to undergo for hrt im already 26 years old,,can you help me to have it?

Jhale Moreno on December 11, 2015:

Shayna Lynn's opinion is not directly as negative as it appears to read if you go over it carelessly. It is confoundingly unbiased and biased at the same time. The page WARNING FOR THOSE CONSIDERING MtF SRS actually uses lies such as Renee Richards regretting her sex change after living most of her life. (Renee only hated becoming a public icon of controversy who was only viewed as a transgender or a man playing a woman's game and no longer being valued for her sports achievements.) Renee's quotes are clearly directed to other people and they include outdated quotes for when there was less transgender publicity (1999) after stating the lie of regret.

But, the rest of the website seems to simply advocate fear of making the choice unwisely and is pro-therapy, like Shayna Lynn is on this page. They both stated that only a few transgenders have illusions of what they really feel. However, they list a large amount of traits that these people would fall into and they emphasize how you can go so long before realizing how much you regret the change. That is just exaggeration and disbelief that someone can accept a transformation of body that violates Freud's principles.

Shayna Lynn and Lynn Conway are lying by pretending to be super-experienced in transgender life. Maybe they are experienced with many years of history, but there was never a broadening of understanding of the issues, especially for contemporary times. There is not yet an established textbook certainty of being educated of transgender issues, but both women profess to have such an education.

They are hiding their anti-transgender propaganda along with bits of positive, correct information. But their biggest crime is promoting lies about how the suicide rates of transgenders is just an exaggeration by the LGBT communities. These people are the most seriously dangerous and twisted promoters of ignorance and hatred.

The idea of transgender people lots of therapy is rather foolish. The person who said that it was just 12 hours of therapy was absolutely lying. The HRT approval requires 6 months of therapy.

Also, to post this idea on comments about hormone prescriptions with the simple-minded view that all transgenders use surgery when HRT is being talked about is just plain nonsense, but seems to come up 1,000 times.

ChristieMeows on September 18, 2015:

Wait, so does that mean (even though I have no genital dysphoria AT ALL) that I am not allowed to take hormones? I don't understand... Like, I do want to be a girl,too. It would be a "dream come true" for me. I don't mean to sound like a bitch, though that's how I seem to come across every time I talk to someone, but I identify as a Non-Op (yes, they exist), and all I can gather from reading this is that only "true" transgenders are allowed the pleasure of feminizing their bodies without the use of risky surgeries. I, for one, am very confused; but I do understand that, while I don't have dysphoria like most of the community, I would like to take hormones without getting silicone implants in my butt and breasts or ribs removed or my jaw bone sawed away to round it off, or my nose 'trimmed', or even liposuction. I would rather gain fatty deposits through hormones, and let my body naturally re-shape itself. Is this not allowed within our community, or am I just being a paranoid little bitch? 'Cuz if I'm being a paranoid little bitch, please don't be harsh. I know how rude people can be on the internet, and I personally really don't want to deal with internet drama. But, either way, please, someone tell me which one it is.

Kayleigh on April 24, 2015:

Love how this turned into a bash match. Really loving how far things have come for our community. *gulf clap* now enough sarcasm! I just wanted to say. These things can help those of us, like myself, find a path that's easier with a very low income, and no insurance. If you find something wrong with that than kudos, you've an opinion. Now no one has to agree with it, some will some won't, but seriously bashing eachother? Are we children or adults here?

Joe on March 26, 2014:

Shayna_Lynn is not a loser troll. She just doesn't know how to spell - Beagle is spelled just like it sounds, and with a capital, "Beagle," not "leagal."

kriss Oldman on March 02, 2014:

I want to get srs done I was born with 89percent female and I want to get it finished all the way I have lived the life of a female for 36years it's time to get it done and over with help me with it please send me an answer asap today

Merc on August 22, 2012:

I think it's such a shame that it takes some people in upwards of a year to get on hormones. It's tragic, because a lot can happen in a year. Especially when age can make a difference in transition, it can be very emotionally tolling to an individual.

Thanks for the article, I've read it before, and just ran into it again from another source. Yes, standards exist for a reason, but for those who exceed standard there is no need for it- except for use as a gate-keeper. If the trans* community is to progress in the ensuing years, we need to keep treatment as a viable option, an option that isn't available to patients their following year after wanting to start it.

I only waited 8 months and I feel sort of lucky for the 'short' amount of time waited. I did self medicate for the time I waited for the appointments. I don't recommend it- but if you are on the verge of suicide it may be your only option.

korean girl on July 09, 2012:

hello jessica

i read your articles and its really helpful to me.

i appreciate about this informations.

I live in korea and i am looking for hormone theraphy hastily.

my brother is 13years old and he is mtf

i want to help him to start hormone theraphy earlier

to alleviate much of the stress of being in the wrongly sexed body

he didn't experience puberty yet.

i know self medicate hormone theraphy is danger

but in korea, The minor can't do hormone theaphy without consent form

from parents.

and korean parents are really conservative and negative about transexual

in addition, a psychiatrist do not concede sid diagnose because of minor.

They think minor don't have sexual identity.

So i need help from forigner doctor

you said you should not do self medicate.

but in this case, i think self medicate is the utmost effort

is there any ways to self medicate safely without doctors help?

of course i will do some tests( the endocrine system, mri) by periods

plz help me T T

Dawnjanine on May 30, 2012:

Hello my name is Dawn. I am a M2F Transsexual woman. I have known this in some ways since my early childhood. when i was 4-5 I was made to wear a dress, to encourage more male behavior, because I was told I was acting like a girl. It did work but for the wrong reasons. I retreated within myself, and learned early on how to gender conform. It kept presenting itself to me. Specifically, when I started puberty, I was terrified of going anywhere without a shirt on, because I did not want other people to see my boobies. This was not easy, but once again allowed myself to be convinced that I was not a girl. When I was 17 I saw a daytime talkshow, I want to say that it was Sally Jesse Raphael. There was a fully transitioned M2F Transsexual on the show. The light-bulb went on in my head. I understood that I was a woman. I wanted to transition back then, I had no support, and also was conflicted about it, because of my religious upbringing. I did not transition. Fast-forward to today 37 years of life, spent mostly terrified everyday that someone would notice that my walk was not manly enough, and ostracize me. I have finally come to terms with who I am and my hard-wired gender identity. Which science has proven is hard-wired in the womb. I decided to fully transition. This has been the most freeing decision I have ever made. 30 minutes after making this decision, the huge weight of depression lifted off of me. I am now at peace and finally happy for the first time in my life. I challenge anyone to suggest to me that I am just a fetish. Check your facts. This happens to 1-10000 men and 1-30000 women. A dutch postmordem study of neurons of hetero's, all the way to GBL confirmed that the M2F Transsexual had the exact same neuron count as a genetic female. A F2M Transsexual had the exact same neuron count as a genetic man. There are the facts.

D W on May 03, 2012:

I'm quite glad information like this exists. I made the mistake of going through the SoC process. I discovered that the process was very much broken and that providers will use the SoC to defend what they do. It ended-up being 13 months before the doctor would even prescribe any form of HRT: three before my HRT letter was written and referral to this specialist was made, five for the next available appointment in the specialist's schedule, then five more for the second appointment, which was the first point she would agree to begin prescribing HRT (her view appeared to be that the therapy requirement* came into play as of the first appointment with her even if I'd already satisfied it.) She then was resistant because I wasn't transitioned at work yet and did not present overtly feminine at the appointments (because I came from work for the appointments and returned there after them.) It soon became clear that she was effectively requiring RLE before HRT. Yes, she was prescribing, but at extremely low doses that were very unlikely to be effective. I have never met anyone who was even prescribed my initial dose.

The best thing I did was decide "to hell with the SoC process." The reason I decided this was actually the point the author makes about testing; although I was under the care of a physician who should have been knowledgeable (she had been treating trans women for at least a decade when I started seeing her) I discovered that she was not ordering labs like LFT, which are important. As a friend said, I was under the care of a doctor without gaining the advantages that was intended to provide. The only point I can give that physician was that she did prescribe an anti-androgen, which made a huge mental/emotional difference for me. I could not have succeeded in my transition without that.

When my therapist refused to refer me to another physician I located (or to any other; she made it clear that, in her view, I was not being prudent about my HRT if I went to another doctor) I got my GP to refer me (another specialist who was on referral only) and cut my therapist from the process. I did take advantage of the provider switch to up my dose on my own, knowing it would only be for a brief time and would most likely mean cutting a year of waiting for proper HRT. The first day I saw my new doctor was also the day I informed my coworkers that I was transitioning. It was clear this silenced some of the objections she was ready to voice. Three months later, she put me onto a reasonable dose that had wonderful results. I'm now moving to a non-specialist as a provider because even that specialist seems to be wanting to find unusual/edge-case situations that there is simply no reason to believe exist for me.

I effectively stopped therapy long before I transitioned, and have only been back since twice to ensure I was on track for surgery letters. I figured that since I had paid the tuition of seeing her for a couple years there was no harm in seeing if it would pay off in the form of easy access to surgery letters. It has; as of the last session she told me that the only thing she wanted to hear from me again was a phone call to her office when I needed a surgery letter.

* I know it's a guideline and not a requirement; I use requirement because that is how my providers have enforced it. Even my therapist told me she would write an HRT letter for me while sitting in my first session, but she said she wouldn't for three months. Clearly, she saw it as a rule and those three months of therapy were a formality.

jason on April 22, 2012:

I'm a 20 year old ftm who lives in New York and has passed 100% of the time. Despite that I still want to get Hrt. I was wondering if anyone knows of any endo's who don't require therapy in the New York area?

Jessica Sideways (author) from Denver, CO on April 11, 2012:

Well, tgirl2, it may not have been all roses for you but the thing is that being transsexual is not terrible for everyone. I am coming up on my third year of being post-op and I still find it to be a beautiful, wonderful and fulfilling life.

Life is what you make of it.

jessicaM on March 24, 2012:

I'm 23 years old from south africa, I've been trying to start hrt for the last 5years I've tried everything, Is there anyway you could help me get started I hate crossdresing its not who I am! Been doing it for 5years now just cause some experts think they know trans people better when them themselves are not trans! Can anyone help me please

raven on March 03, 2012:

im 15 and an transexual.. although i look alot like a female i am starting to get male problems. i reside in sa

Rhea Nicole on January 27, 2012:

At 33 years of age I had no job, the only income I had was from pool tournaments that I won occasionally and also from a little bit of hustling here and there for 5 bucks. I started on hormones from an overseas pharmacy. Every penny I made from playing pool which was VERY little by the way went to paying for my hormones and blockers for 2 1/2 years. I just recently found a decent job. Now ive almost been on hormones for 3 years, changed my name legally 2 years ago, and managed to even pay for laser treatments the first year I was on the hormones even without a job. But without insurance and no extra income beyond what my hormones costed me and the laser treatments and name change I was unable to afford to seek a doctor or psychologist. I now for the first time ever in my entire life have landed a GOOD job, one that actually pays $10/hr + unlimitted voluntary overtime of $15/hr and you can bet I work close to 100 hours a week taking advantage of that! So now Im in a position where I finally have health insurance as of today, and I have been on hormones for almost 3 years now. I have no idea what my first step will be but I already pass 100% as a woman in public, in fact my drivers license says female on it and not one person in my job even knows im anything but a female. So now I want to start saving up for my SRS as i do not want to remain male for the rest of my life. So to get my blood tested to see if i have been providing myself the correct dosages since April of 2009 I am thinking about starting off with a general practitioner and hoping that they will even take on a transgender patient. Whatever they recommend after that I will follow. But as I said up until today I have never been in a position financially to afford even to take any of the steps in the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care. And I am glad I started hormones when I did almost 3 years ago otherwise I probably would not have had the results I have had nor the opportunity to work for the company I work for as they have nearly 99% female employees.

Karen Davis uk on January 16, 2012:

I am 54 yr old TS who has been taking HRT for the past few months, I have read a lot of information on gender issues and would like to know how i can help my Female partner come to terms with it.I have tried to explain that I love her for her not the form she was born , am I being egotistical when i say It's my life ? she has become very emotional and unbalanced of late and blames it on me, I understand that it hurt her to see the Man she fell in love with changing into a woman, she says she is not a lesbian and sexual activity has stopped, although I still can perform the "male" role for her in bed.Has anyone else ecountered the same problems as i have and can they enlighten me on how to handle this sore subject. Love the Informative approach this hub has thank you x x x x




Coll010150 on January 04, 2012:

I seriously want to start hormone treatment now that I've hit 40. Funny thing is that I realized my yearning to transform has not changed in over 20 years. It's gotten worse. Too much fear of rejection - not passing / worried about what others will think yet it only gets worse with age. Can anyone recommend a doctor that would make it easier to start treatment. Once you hit middle age & begin to realize that you need to change yourself, the last thing you want to hear is a lot of people questioning why you feel that way... it's a big change but I don't have a lot of time also. I think that 20+ years is enough time to "think" about it. I reside in South Jersey / Philadelphia.

LaRaina on November 08, 2011:

Hi! I have a questions. I wanted to know about every transgender people when they first started their MTF hormones treaments as in getting their shots and taking their pills. I wanna know how do we talk to our doctor and ask about hormones pills or shots. Because I am currently searching for hormones treatment. What should I do? How I started?

Amy Harrison on October 03, 2011:

I get annoyed when the therapists say "you have to live fully as a woman for two years before we can put you on Hormone Replacements" I sit there thinking I've lived my whole life as a woman, but with today's society, although they are more accepting are still of the impression "hey there's a guy in drag" I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but as you girls are probably aware, it's difficult living as a woman in a world that only sees you as a man, Although I live in the UK so the rules are a little different here, I would like to thank you for the input, it's nice to know there are other routes that can be taken.

jessicab on September 28, 2011:

Hey girls I need some help too! I live in tulsa,ok and am a tran-gender mtf married and have 3 kids and I feel that I should've started at 13 but my wife is understandable and wants to work with me and help me transition. Is there any places around my town (dr wise) that I could get this done?

connie on September 27, 2011:

I took hormones when I was 20 stabestrial if speeled right for 8 months and stop as the dotor went away but started my breast and hips, I wish I could restart it now but I have no doctor to go to.I tried to change but you can't if you think the way I do ,you can't sleep at night because all you think about is changing. I'm 56 years old now and dress 3 or 4 times aweek and just plane hate to change. I can not stand to pee because my body changed and I have no control so I have to sit to pee like a women also or pee down my leg.if anybody knows of a doctor around Indy please help

Gonzo on September 19, 2011:

I have a... weird scenario for you. I am a man, and I don't want to switch to a female... completely. I have a very effeminate personality and all I really want is a more effeminate appearance to feel more comfortable with. No breasts, no sex-change surgery later, I enjoy my gender well enough. I want to be an in-between, if you will. Is there a chance in this world that I can just have that?

Alex - Alexis on September 14, 2011:

First thank you so much for taking the time and sharing! I did want to comment to all and say please don't judge anyone until you have walked a mile in their shoes- I am a man who happens to be in-between the genders and I embrace both my feminine and masculine side, and do self medicate / hrt. I do have slight breast development but do not plan on transitioning. The truth is I use hormones to help my physical self match my inner self and my real "fantasy" is not to transition but to simply be accepted for who I am. I read some pretty heavy bashing from some about wanna be's and paying dues and it's sad.. Gender is a of line with infinite points from male to female on several Planes ... Physical, emotional, and spiritual. And every person is unique. So please to all- remember that just because you are part of group of people who are similar in gender that in no way should invalidate anyone else's unique gender.. And I will say this as someone who's true gender is so infrequent that even transexuals seem like a majority.

mega on September 03, 2011:

im a transgender m2f and have been having much trouble locating a doctor who will start me on trans. hormones, estrogen. i live in san diego. can you assist me

Aurora 10 on August 17, 2011:

My name is Aurora. I'm a trans-woman. who has trouble getting on hormones. I'm exhausting every option possible and even flying to Chicago to try and get my hormones. I just feel so trapped. laser, make-up and clothes will only get me so far.

Anna on August 13, 2011:

I heard that in Berlin the birthplace of Harry Benjamin there is a sword that he lodged in a stone right after creating the SOC. Apparently this sword can only be pulled out of the stone after a person has spent over $100,000 in gender therapy. The problem is the person must also be a 'true' transsexual. No one has yet been able to claim the sword of Benjamin. Is this story true or just rumour?

Cisgender on July 29, 2011:

My concern is with my sil who basically has always been FTM transsexual. He always dressed like a guy which is fine. My main concern is that he has a lot of other "issues". I think taking hormones or dressing is his own business. He is not seeing a therapist which is concerning to me in the long run. He wanted my child who is 3 and always know him as "aunt" to call him "uncle" which is also fine at my daughters pace, but he makes it like if we don't make efforts to do it or if she doesn't and call him uncle that we are hurting him and not supporting him. My question is why do people in this position think they are always right, that its the way they feel and someone who doesn't have the same issues cant have imput that might be helpful. I admit I can be judgmental and just see life as more to experience then worrying about having a vagina or a penis. I find she is lost in the world and there is no coming out of it. After all is said and done what's next? I want him to be happy and if he is great I just hope in the end this was the right choice.

fashion on July 22, 2011:

informative hub

It is helpful for many people.

keep it up

jennifer lynn on July 20, 2011:

i just wish i could get my ht started, i been waiting for over a year to get into a professional tg clinic and i'm number two on the list............

Isis Win on July 07, 2011:

Interesting blog and response-s. Nothing worse than watching a reality tv show where the task is to bash everyone in order to survive, perhaps win.

I am a late 50s TS. Started HRT almost 7 years ago and not before a serious psychological introspection with the help of a specialized in identity issues counselor. But more importantly, besides of having a degree in clinical psychology, I've delved into reading just as many gender and related books my local university provided me plus several dozens I've purchased. As well. I’ve been deeply involved with the TG communities in LA and SFO - CA, DC and VA and had conducted no less than 800 interviews with transpeople. I can quote statistics from several realms and as well, provide evidence to my knowledge. So what?

Providing advice as how to and where to get HRT is a very serious issue and all has been mentioned here already. This blog actually doesn’t mean or harm per se, but entices the fantasy mind of many made to believe TS women out there. I've met several dozens of those myself and all I can say is: Gosh! It is amazing how out of touch they are! Personally met one that died from a cloth and another one is at the brink of death because a decaying liver. Both self medicated.

It is absolutely ridiculous to resort to HRT w/o the supervision of a specialist and the proper routine lab work. I have two friends that today are alive because their labs prevented their death.

Anyone is entitle to do whatever they want, even if their risk their lives. The only option for conscious and caring people in this regard, is to provide support to them, so they can figure their levels of self esteem, love and confidence. That may provide them a handy tool to figure that they can have the best of both worlds w/o having to pay the price. Those truly wired to congruence in the opposite born gender don't need this type of suggestions or advice. In fact, most true TSs transition w/o mingling with other sisters, finding literature in the realm or even seek for a counselor. They simply address their issue and continue their life accordingly. Those that require tons of data, confirmation and company only represent their intellectual interest in the matter or their flaky sense of being. Through the interviews I've conducted, the results show that more than two thirds of them have serious issues with their emotional and psychological make up and those that addressed those issues in time, are mighty fine today. Some simply live as a female FT, others do it occasionally and others realized they made a real bad and pricey mistake. Therefore, providing simple, uneducated and laconic advise is a disfavor to their integrity as a person, trans preference and such can threaten their lives. So lots of care must be exercised by providing any kind of professional uneducated advice in this regard. Voila!

Jessica Sideways (author) from Denver, CO on June 27, 2011:

Georgia, good question - I have no idea. But I must reluctantly say that the more money you have to put into your transition, the more you'll get out of it. I'm saving for medical schools so I can't get rid of the rest of my facial hair for now. Fortunately, I've already had my SRS.

Kimberley, I agree - people should always work to seek out care from a medical professional. Hormones have serious consequences and I would not want to see anyone self-medicating. You may know your own body but you sure as hell don't know pharmacology, anatomy and physiology - unless you are a physician and are running your own labs.

Brandi, I agree. You'll notice that there aren't too many transsexual physicians out there. You have people like Bowers, McGinn and Allison who have MDs (or DOs) and then you have the physicians that transitioned for all the wrong reasons - like Richards and Lawrence.

brandi candie on May 19, 2011:

I think that pepole who don't understand how transgender persons think and feel about them self shoud stay out of making pollace about how trans gender persons are treated buy the med. community!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kimberley on March 21, 2011:

I think there is a lot of bad advice here. First the HBSOC are a guideline and not a set of rules. Most doctors I have been in contact with (and there are many as a result of research for the listed website) don't follow them, or if they do, it is very loosely. Most don't even know of WPATH or CPATH.

That said, when one becomes one's own doctor they have a fool for a patient. It isn't easy to find a doctor but they are out there and they are willing to help. Sometimes you even have to educate your own doctor but if you do, make sure your facts are MEDICALLY verifiable.

Don't give up but don't be foolish. If you are turned down for a reason it is probably valid and you either need to make the necessary changes or accept the harsh realities.

Yes, a lot of doctors will turn you away because they don't know and/or are unwilling to take chances so they use the HBSOC as an excuse. MOVE ON! Ask the local trans community. We know who is working with us and who isn't. Taking things into shady or illegal areas is simply assinine and playing with your own life.


jennifer on February 13, 2011:

sometimes you have to go out the rules, and that is what i am going to do. seeing as even WPATH has admitted they know of no one who can

Georgiakevin from Central Georgia on February 01, 2011:

This is such a good hub , some of what you wrote I know about some I did not. I am 52 years old. How successful are women in their fifties transitioning?

Badtranny from on January 02, 2011:

sidney griffin:

So you want to continue living as a man, while on an HRT program to feminize your body? I wouldn't recommend such a thing but it's your life so my only advice would be to NOT self medicate. It is totally possible to find an Endo who will not require a letter from a therapist, so find one and tell her/him what you want to do. Be honest with your doctor if no one else. I do think a few therapy sessions might be a good idea though.

sidney griffin on January 01, 2011:

i want to see a doctor to get on hormones i still dress like a man but more than anything i want to change my body shape into a female what should i do

Badtranny from on November 25, 2010:

"People are responsible for their own lives, decisions and happiness, and most are going to do what they want regardless of what so-called "experts" tell them anyway."

Agreed! Though I don't think that was your intention. ;-)

e n on November 25, 2010:

Jeez, what's so difficult about following the SOC? They exist for our benefit, and anyone who thinks 12 hours of therapy is too harsh to obtain life-altering drug therapy probably doesn't have the discipline and patience to get through transition anyway. The melodramatics being volleyed back & forth here are hilarious. Everyone wants to be the authority on what constitutes a transsexual person. Who cares? People are responsible for their own lives, decisions and happiness, and most are going to do what they want regardless of what so-called "experts" tell them anyway.

deskjockywriter from Muncie, Indiana on November 20, 2010:

You all are fumbling around in the dark let me shed some You all are fumbling around in the dark let me shed some light on things in here. First of all no one is the same we all face different challenges and while there are many of us out there that have transitioned successfully there is no one right way to do a transition. There are many wrong ways however.

Transition with out the hormones yes with out them! They really do not change you all that much your much better off having laser hair removal and or electrolysis, and then after going through appropriate therapy should you take Hormones. For some there are those that choose to never have surgery for various reasons. For others the surgery is the culmination of their transition and yet for other the surgery is done but with the complete understanding that it will not make your life better or change you into a better person. That struggle has to be undertaken on a personal level and no surgery will ever fix that. The last groups of persons are the one that have the greatest success stories. But we are all successful in our own ways. We all were brave enough to realize who we are and step forward and be strong enough to face the hardships of being Trans. We have decided to live life for our selves and not based on others concepts of who we should be or how we should act. We deprogram our minds from the male egos that we have portrayed and have evolved our lives and minds into congruence with that of our inner female selves. This is no easy task and most will not have the courage to be who they desire to be. So they suffer some in inner turmoil some briefly in suicide. Neither one is good.

So why would a guy want to become a woman?.. I here that one a lot well people that is because we are not really men we just appear to be on the out side we are in hiding. We hide for fear of rejection, of hatred, and for many other reasons. we all just wish to be accepted and we all have to go through the awkward phases of transition undoing the male roles, lives that we have been in from birth some it has been majority of their lives in male role, others transition at a younger age. I was in my mid to late twenties when I realized I wanted to transition and I took the steps to slowly transition over time keeping my male persona up till I cam into my 30's it has taken me a long time to take the steps I have taken some of them took yrs others I sprinted too! but when I made the change it was definitely not easy in fact I tried three separate time each time I was successful but had family issues that drew me back into my male roles. The Third an final transition I made the leap of faith and started living my life how I desired moved, took new job as woman, and that job while it was brief due to being outed at work was enjoyable for many different reasons.

I hade to face a heart Breaking Divorce, lost my family in the process. I learned allot about others over the yrs and one thing I did learn was that there are many others out there that have done what I did and what your trying to do.

Go to southern comfort conference get into group therapy, join a group. Learn about your self and others, be open honest person and good things shall come. There are many out there that are haters and when we all realize that we want the same thing love, acceptance and unity life will get easier.

I have fully transitioned and now live a normal life with only one thing that is different about me; that I am a much stronger person because of my journey to the other side of the gender spectrum. I now feel complete as a person though I am in process for the surgery having had approval for SRS here in the united states with a certified surgeon, having under gone hormone therapy and having changed names and genders I am now at peace from here forward I am able to live life and enjoy it because life is what I have made it a place I want to be!

For every one out there I hope you find your dreams and make them come true!

DeeDeeRostov on November 19, 2010:

After reading the rant posted by Shana Lynn I am heading out to my backyard in SoCal for an hour of tanning in my bikini sans sun block. I will smoke a cigarette, drink way too much wine and bask in the warmth of being an American. I will go pick up my grandchild driving my SUV and take her to McDonald's for a Happy Meal - that includes a toy and french fries. When I return home I will indulge in a lunch that includes loads of salt and a soda that contains way too much sugar.

After lunch I will get online and order my trans meds that I decided would make my life more about me than more about them. Since this has been my "MO" (method of operation) for the last ten years I am confident that I will be okay.

People like Shana Lynn are kinda like Nancy Pelosi here in California. "They know more about how you should live your life than you do". Isn't that funny?

I am happy with my life - and I am happy with being able to dictate my life - without any government intervention. I will accept my consequences.

Shana Lynn? I'm sorry they mutilated you 20+ years ago. MTF surgery was so crude back then! I feel for you baby. If you had only followed your heart and not some government guidelines maybe you would be in a better mood today. Love your community - don't hate it Shana.

Love and Peace to the DoItYOurSelf Trans Community!

Badtranny from on November 13, 2010:


I'm sure that you mean well, but your attitude about your sisters is infuriating. How dare you sit in judgment of other trans women who decide for whatever reason to follow a different path than yours?

So you transitioned 20 years ago, and you followed the HBSoC to the letter, that's wonderful ...for YOU. I thank God that he doesn't allow the self righteous to make my decisions for me, and I'll be damned if your opinion about me or any of my sisters is going to influence me one way or the other. You are shouting into the wind Miss Thang and you may as well redirect your efforts to changing the weather because people like you are being marginalized by the love and support of millions of people worldwide thanks to the miracle of the internet. Your hatred for those that are different, and your obvious love for convention have put you square in the demographic that I have sworn to protect my girls from.

You are a trans woman, but your post could have been written by any pinch faced old lady about Rock & Roll or dancing.

Badtranny from on November 13, 2010:

Alexandra, my sister, I could have written your post. I feel the EXACT same way about the cross dressing. I don't like it and I'm eagerly awaiting the changes from those wonderful little pills. Someday, I won't look like "a dude in a dress", and my clothes will no longer be a statement, just cute.

Brittani Abbott on October 18, 2010:

I am on HRT for 5 years first that is best I Heard to do

David Diane on October 07, 2010:

Alexandra, how true your feelings. There's simply no way to explain or understand how I feel about myself. I could be transexual but am bigender so I'm satisfied to some extent without having to take hormones. But still I wish I could at least feminize more than the natural characteristics I was born with. So, not having to go through some grueling therapy sessions just to get a little softer skin and maybe more pear than apple body would be a blessing. It's time for honesty. Thanks JessicaSideways

Alexandra on September 08, 2010:

Hey ladies! I am a 39 year old trans-sexual who has yet to begin ANY hormone therapy and/or surgeries. How so? Because as with any related to one's starts from within. I've been transgendered since kindergarten (although I had no name for it then); and upon figuring out the birds and the bees (around 3rd grade)I have never had a functionally sexual attraction as a male towards ANYONE (male or female). I've always been attracted to a woman would be; and functioned that way. Although gender really does not regulate social living; because society projects men to act one way; and females another, I have ALWAYS expressed myself from the female standpoint. Thanks to a warm personality...making acquaintances has been relatively easy (although it hurts not to know that most of them cannot see the person I feel). And dating? It has always felt hopeless since I have had no desire to function as male(and subsoquently...IT is in the way). I am biologically a male; who dominantly identifies with (and therefor functions as) female; and just wants permanently appear and co-exist as such among others. I have tried to do the (doctor recommended) dress up for a while thing, but that does not feel right. Transexuals are NOT drag queens; and if feminizing hormones are necessary to alleviate the drag protocol, then one should be able to get them by physician WITHOUT the lengthy wait. I have never had the feelings (that some may have) of suicide nor body mutilation; which doctors quickly consider "justifiable for HRT and/or re-assignment". Does that make me less a candidate? No. Although much sadness and depression has filled my journey...FAITH has guided me to realize that the moment would arrive, and it is coming. No transgendered persons should be treated as a Candidate, in order to get medical assistance. If anything...the physical effects of HRT should be a medical physicians concern (rather than the transexxual's emotional status)because every TS is different and one profile is no more HRT worthy than another. I've struggled to live in society with my "birth-body" for 39 years; and after decades of meeting, seeing, (and hearing of) beautiful transexual sisters out there, it's now my turn...and I hope it's not too late. I can honestly say how jealous I am of those who have transitioned before me. It's about appearing, functioning, and/or both (on the outside)...the way I feel on the inside for the rest of my. I am glad I logged on this morning and found yall. Thanks for listening.

Dimsum_Baby on August 04, 2010:

Beautifully written. . . Glad to see we are making some headway from the dark-ages ;)

Kaelyb on July 29, 2010:

Hi, I think therapy is VERY important during a transsexuals transition from one gender to the other. There are a lot of people out there who are confused about their gender or who want to do it because they feel it may change them in a certain aspect of their life when in fact, it may not. A GOOD transgender therapist will help you work through everything and make sure you are absolutely ready to transition. I don't know how many cases i've seen where someone has transitioned and then regretted (less likely, however). I know that if you are a true transsexual you want to start transitioning as soon as possible and don't always want to pay the fees and everything but therapy is best in the long run. Just my personal opinion.

Ashley on May 16, 2010:

This is more a comment for Shayna_Lynn, but applies to everyone... Although I respect what your saying, there is a need for information like what is posted on this site. Not everyone lives in a major city where the SOC can be easily applied, some (like myself) live in small comunities full of homophobs and transphob people... including doctors. In places like this, forcing people to live a year as a girl before granting hormones would most likely have the person killed, or at the very least beaten regularly. In places like Canada (ON) this SOC is very anti-trans and has forced me to use online pharmacies to get care. I realize that Benjamin's SOC has been changing over the years to place less importantence on the "real life test", but unfortunatly not in Canada :( soooo thank you Jessica, until sociaty changes your information is needed!

Kaos Mikazuki on May 06, 2010:

I for one found this very helpful ^_^

Many people may say she's doing transgender folk more harm by posting this, but hey~ im a MtF and she sure helped me, ive been wondering on how i can get HRT without the payment of therapists and such((they always anger me and say things that arent always true))

Thus now im going to research even more on HRT in boston~ just because i really want the HRT before i hit 20! Thankies!!

Shayna_Lynn on April 19, 2010:

Transphobe, idiot? WRONG!!!! First, I never called you any demeaning or derogatory names. You imediately discredit yuourself by doing so to me, and I shouldn't entain this discussion any further, but I will.

Second. I came out over 20 years ago as TS, and live full time as a leagal female. I'm the main speaker at the TS/TG group I belong to, I also moderate a TG chatroom, and I'm quite admired for my femininty, cander, knowledge of the TS/TG community, and a vast majority of the leagities involved with transiton in most states. As well as my inteligence, by all those that know me. Oh yeah, and from what I hear, I'm a real looker too. Not that that has any baring here. I've been around the block more than a few times, and have been through the TS ringer. I've been abused, discriminated against, fired from my job, mistreated by lovers, Slapped, punched, verbally assulted, raped for being TS by two thugs, beaten, bashed, sold into prostitution, and almost killed, and put into a coma for nine days, by the man that sold my body, when I tried to leave him. I have seen men... Yes, men, that fetishize being TS themselves, and want to feminize, all for the sake of a fantasy, firsthand. I have heard from their own mouths, what motivates them. You can also find a number blogs and post on this subject online by well known, prominent TS women, that have experienced this side of the TG, not TS community. To say this doesn't exist, is just adding to it. I have counseled people about transition, that do just what you say doesn't exist, and have been able to show many of them that transition isn't something they should do. Many, many TS, as well as myself, know this happens, We've seen it. I sugest you look at Lynn Conway's site, the section tittled: "A WARNING FOR THOSE CONSIDERING MtF SRS:" Here you will see, outlined by the TG's themselves, just how wrong you are about whether autogynephia exists or not. 'There's also a similar post on Capernia Adams site, dealing with this issue. I find it odd that prominent TS such as these, as well as the CD/TV's that are quoted, would bear witness to something that doesn't exist.

As for Ray's discription of autogynephiles, and TS in general. I could care less. He's off his gord about TS, and what and who we are. However, this does little, if anything to change the fact that there a number of people that have gone the route of full transition just for an eroticism that doesn't exist anymore, once their penis has been transformed through surgery, or after years of hormones. Providing info that helps a fetishistic Transvestite achieve any level of physical transition without going through the proper channels, and being identified as true Transsexuals by a professional, does all TS a diservice, and is quite omnipotent, in my opinion. It also helps someone do great harm to themselves, that could result in suicide, or worse. Like the taking of another's life, instead of theri own. If you think what you're doing is wrong I would sugest you take down this info. After all, YOU said it was stupid you use information that you have provided. You can call me an idiot if you want. I know the truth on this, and stand by my previous post, as well as this one.

Dilyn on March 08, 2010:

Blanchard's work should be regarded as a *point of departure*. While Blanchard & Co are not entirely correct, to throw the whole notion of autogynephilia out is ridiculous. The hard data on MTF transpeople says 70% are autogynephilic and only 30% are androphilic (i.e. the classic transsexual).

It is also reductionist to say that autogynephilia is simply a fetish because there is so much more going on there than just sex.

I believe our brains are wired such that when we feminize ourselves, our brain interprets this as actual contact with a female and releases neurotransmitters (e.g. dopamine) and hormones (e.g. oxytocin) — just as if we were in intimate contact with a woman. Neurotransmitters are powerful chemicals and produce sensations of pleasure, well-being, self-identity, and sexual gratification. Whether we are born with our brains wired this way or if it is the result of some sort of life event is still in dispute.

The neurotransmitters in particular affect the reward centers of the brain, mimicking the addiction response. So we feel as if we NEED to cross-dress. We feel we can’t stop. We can’t stop noticing pretty feminine things.

But what is really going on? We can’t stop our brains from releasing neurotransmitters in response to cross-dressing. Our bodies crave the feeling these neurotransmitters produce and want more and more. But the longer we repeat the same stimulus (i.e. cross-dressing) the less dopamine is released. In order to continue to release high amounts of dopamine we must push the envelope of our personal cross-dressing.

We feel as if we need to go further and further and further with our cross-dressing. Mentally we begin to fantasize about female role-play. We identify ourselves as female. We try to feminize ourselves as much as possible and pass as a woman. We create a female alter-ego, give “her” a feminine name, and then refer to our alter-ego like “she” is a real person. Some will go further still and take hormones to enhance "her".

The urge to transition into a woman is strengthened the longer we stay on this path, conditioning ourselves to the point of no return.

Shayna_Lynn on February 16, 2010:

It's information like this that's responsible for watering down the transsexual community into a group of men that fetishize, and sexualize the fantasy of being a woman, Instead of a group of women born with a horrible birth defect. If one doesn't meet the standards set forth by Harry Bejamin, then they are not transsexual. As a transsexual woman that meets this standard, I am calling you out as the enemy Jessica, for you are doing the TS community more harm than good by providing information to fetish driven men to fake their way into the ranks of the transsexual community without paying their dues. Any one with the money for surgery can fly to Thailand and receive SRS, that doesn't mean they are a true transsexual. I can't see a true TS wanting to water down the community with more fake wannabe TS.

Rachel Sarah Causey on January 26, 2010:

I need a fake letter saying I'm doing my years living as a woman and I live as a woman full time

Jessica Sideways (author) from Denver, CO on November 28, 2009:

I do not suggest the self-medication route simply because:

- No amount of disclosure will cover my ass if their next of kin decide to sue me

- It is always best to do it with a doctor so your labs can be taken and any risks to your health can be averted.

- There is no risk of going without your meds for a month or so if Customs stops your package.

But hey, if you can't get it through any doctor "any port in a storm" should be the motto...

sequoiablessed from USA on November 28, 2009:

This is interesting since I have not heard of Tom Waddell, and I think you do a good job here. One more avenue that I hesitate to mention is self medication through foreign pharmacies. I highly recommend finding a doctor to monitor your blood levels if you go this route.(I ended up in the ER the first few months and I had a doctor prescribe my meds - each person is different) I have 25 yrs experience in the medical professions so I am comfortable doing my own treatment, and it is much cheaper. Do your research before starting any meds and yes talking to a counselor who specializes in gender issues is also highly recommended. I list several websites on my site that can help with HRT, although I do not list the specific pharmacies - talk to me and when I know you I will help with this,

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