Depression Is Hard: My Story
The Past 2 Years - Real Talk
I feel like I have dropped off the face of the earth—but in reality I have just been trying to get better. There is a stigma behind depression and how it's perceived. Some people have it worse than others but it's not really a pissing contest to see who has the worst life.
People who choose not to get help often suffer alone and try their best to hide their symptoms in front of others. Sometimes this works and people don't suspect a thing. That person then feels like they are wearing a mask that hides their true emotions from the world. Sometimes that mask can slip when it's a particularly tough day.
I've had my own share of particularly tough days the past two years. I finally reached a breaking point and ended up going to get help. Not because I wanted to at first—but because I needed to, whether I liked it or not.
Depression really is just the baseline of the many issues I face on a daily basis. I won't try to explain the science behind it, but it is a struggle I have faced since I was very young. After many failed attempts at the right mix of medications through the years you learn what feels right for your own body. I am still struggling to get the medication right, but at least I know when something isn't working.
It all comes down to one simple thing, If you are on medication and you still feel horrible, tell your doctor. If you are on medication and you feel "better," don't stop taking the medication! Most people on medication make the mistake of stopping because they feel better, but if you stop taking the medicine, you stop feeling better.
This very simple, logical idea was hammered into my head over and over by many medical professionals. It seems like the obvious answer, but it isn't always the choice people make. If you happen to know someone is on medication and they say they stopped taking it because they feel better, please tell them to seek help.
There are actually many options when it comes to getting help that I wasn't aware of when I needed it most. Some cities have dedicated medical facilities for dealing with Mental Health and addiction. There are also many places to get tons of information on how to get help as well as hotlines you can call if you simply need someone to talk to. These medical facilities can be amazing places to find the tools you need to work toward dealing with life a little more. I had the chance to go to these places out of necessity and it was a light in a very dark time in my life.
Most times if you feel like you have no options go to the nearest emergency room and they will connect you to the best resources available to you. Most hospitals have a mental health wing for inpatient care and they provide you with the structure you need when you need it most.
They provide you with set schedules, group and individualized therapy and one on ones with doctors and medical professionals whose main goal is to see you thrive and get better. They never feel like the option you want to choose, but sometimes they are the one you need.
You Are Not Alone
A lot of people tend to hide in the dark and not let anyone know they are suffering. With depression becoming a topic more widely discussed recently it is easy to see there are others out there just like you. You will meet peers who you can lean on for support when you need it who understand the struggles you are going through. You will find things that work for you that relieve stress and important ways to cope it is just a matter of shaking the stigma and speaking out.
If no one stops to talk about it, the ones who need the most help will never know there is hope.
With mainstream media coming out with TV shows that almost feel like they glorify suicide it makes it harder for younger and younger kids to know that isn't the best option. If you see someone who looks like they need help, talk to them. Sometimes a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen are the most important things you can provide to someone in need.