Ahlia Rose is a coach, writer, and author. She works with energies and has a passion for travel and helping others see their potential.
You Are Not Broken, Just Different
Since I was a young girl, I have always felt I was different—more sensitive than others and more in tune with the planet and the energies surrounding me. While most others went about their daily life, I often thought about the battle others were facing. Having a highly sensitive personality made me think it was my mission to heal those around me from pain because I was compassionate enough to have felt their pain. Why was this happening? For me to help? Well, at least that is what I thought at the time.
I lost count of the ample times this tiny girl shed tears that were not of her own. I recall a whirlwind of ups and downs, never quite knowing how to set boundaries with others to protect myself. I felt flighty and unsettled all the time like I had no stability or real sense of self. Overwhelmed and confused, I became accustomed to feeling so intensely, especially in relationships. I attracted people in friendships or partnerships who always left me feeling worthless, undervalued, or unappreciated.
The Need for Empaths to Feel Accepted
I longed to be accepted and placed myself in jeopardizing situations that went against my worth, which made me feel even worse until it diminished all my confidence and self-esteem. Coming out of a narcissistic relationship with an abusive partner, I no longer knew who I was, which forced me to look inwards.
But the truth is most empaths struggle with being sensitive and feeling the need to help others while needing to understand the value of themselves. There may be several reasons why empaths get into these situations or need to go through these painful experiences. Some of us have had a difficult childhood or have been emotionally affected by circumstances growing up. Either way, the sooner we learn to acknowledge these truths, the better we can learn to understand ourselves and heal old wounds.
Knowing Your Worth
At the age of five, I was able to place myself in the shoes of an adult and somehow comprehend emotions that I had not yet experienced. Yes, it is true, children are more in tune and sensitive to others, as they are not interrupted by insecurities and brainwashing by society.
Nevertheless, I was also very emotionally wise for my age. Since empaths feel a range of emotions, we can identify these, both ourselves and others. It took me attempts until my late thirties to begin changing my old repetitive ways. After much heartache, I learned to prioritize myself. Not everyone deserved my love; I began to guard my ‘empath gift’. As harsh as it may sound, it is just a fact of life that not everyone has the best intentions for you, whether they mean it or not.
We each have a battle to face, and this is why it is so vital for many of us to look internally to confront our own identities. The process took some time, and I noticed as I began to raise my confidence, my vibration, and positive outlook on life also began to rise.
I was not an overnight success as it took years of hard work and effort. Assessing my programmed thoughts, I asked myself why I felt certain things about myself and looked at where these thoughts derived. Flooded with flashbacks from the past or words I had heard. I sift through my subconscious mind to remove what had been added there along my journey. Once I learned to understand my own beliefs and values, that is when I began to see a change in my life.
I was always intrigued by the spiritual world, the non-physical, and the depth of our emotions. There was no escape from ‘feeling things’ since my life became all about it.
Since I can remember, I was highly-sensitive to having premonitions. When I visited places, sometimes I could tune into the energy around me and would receive deep intuitive hits, flashing visions, and feelings that would be difficult to describe. They were sometimes so vivid; it was like a warning or message from a guardian angel.
Through my dreams, messages and visions would play out in real life. Other times it was just a gut feeling or inner knowing about something. Each time I was right, it never ceased to frighten me in the same adrenalin rushing way. Why was this happening to me? It made me feel alienated and alone.
Misunderstood as I grew into my twenties, I went in search of my false comfort in relationships. These tended to be men who were damaged in some way and needed rescuing. Maybe because the universe was asking me to view myself and what needed healing within me. Focusing on others always took me away from healing myself. The law of attraction works in mysterious ways. In this case, I was attracting these people because of the way I felt about myself.
Viewing Being an Empath as a Gift
As a mature adult, I realized I was overly empathetic and highly-sensitive to others. Having this knowledge helped me to feel a little more in control of what I wanted to allow or not. The fact that others were living everyday life with just their feelings was the real superpower. I needed to be strong for myself. I wanted to be stable and forget about all the messages and signals I was tuning into around me.
And with this desire began the journey of change. When you desire something so much, you begin to have a purpose for change.
Wanting that more than anything else keeps us focused on the long-term goal. When I found my long-term goal of wanting to attract a partner that I deserved, I began to put action into place.
My daily routine started with a short grateful meditation each day, followed by positive affirmations, which I stuck on my fridge and read out aloud. At first, I didn’t believe what I was saying, but I continued to believe in my value and the power of the activity I was doing.
In a month, my energy changed; I was more grateful for everything I had in my life. Once my internal thoughts began to shift, my external world began to expand. I attracted more for myself, better friendships, more potential partners, and better opportunities. It was exciting, and life became exciting. I was looking in the mirror with love and compassion for myself, something I had never recalled doing before.
I felt empowered, entitled, and I truly believed that the universe had to supply and meet my requests. The less I resisted and hopefully stated what I wanted the more abundance flowed. There were times were I still doubted myself, I am only human after all, but I worked on picking myself up and setting positive habits to overcome these.
Even today, I have moments where I feel unsure, but they are less because I know when I apply the actions that work, life works with me.
Things to Do if You Are an HSP or Empath
- Practice grounding yourself in nature
- Make time to do things you like
- Set boundaries with people who take advantage of you
- Spend quality time alone to recharge your energy levels
- Educate yourself with natural techniques to help you feel balanced
- Surround yourself with supportive friends who understand and appreciate you
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.