How to Cope With Tinnitus: My Experience

I have had tinnitus for over 25 years. For the first 20 or so years, it was the regular, garden variety “ringing in ears," but for the past four years I have also had a pulsing sound in my right ear.

As I wrote that first sentence, an image came into my mind of a server in a fast food restaurant asking, “And would you like regular or large? How about a side order of pulsing along with the hissing, buzzing, and ringing in your ears?”

Now, if you feel miserable because you have tinnitus, you might think that it’s not a laughing matter, or that mine can’t be all that serious if I make bad jokes about it.

So let me say now that I don’t always laugh about it, and that I would love, love, love to hear silence again. I am not at all suggesting that you should just grin and bear it. I’d love to find a miracle cure just as much as anyone else would—but I’m not willing to make myself miserable while I wait, and nor need you.

Ringing in my Ears

I cannot tell you how the internal noises I hear compare to yours. I can tell you that a doctor recently put his stethoscope to my neck and told me my pulse there is very loud, which possibly explains the sound I hear. He also sent me for a MRI scan and told me that the results of an audiology test showed significant hearing loss at higher levels. What that means to me on a daily basis is that if the television, radio or washing machine is on I cannot make out what people say. It also means that I long ago gave up going to the loud concerts that possibly contributed to the tinnitus in the first place. I avoid noisy places because I don’t enjoy them and can’t hear conversations.

Too much loud noise can possibly cause tinnitus

Ways to Cope with Tinnitus

But tinnitus doesn’t depress me. It doesn’t keep me awake at night, and it doesn’t make me bad-tempered – all things I’ve heard people say it does to them. (No, when I’m bad-tempered it’s got far more to do with what I’m thinking than anything else, and thankfully it happens considerably less often than it used to do.)

I’m not suggesting that I am better than anyone who does find tinnitus hard to deal with. I am not better than you or anyone else and I have had my moments of despair. My aim in writing this is to encourage you to see that life with tinnitus does not need to be a life of unhappiness.

Since two thousand times as many people search on Google for a miracle cure for tinnitus than search for how to cope with tinnitus, my message may not be what everyone wants to hear. But would your rather suffer with tinnitus, or enjoy life? While we may not have much choice in whether or not we have tinnitus, we do have a choice in how we deal with it, and I’d like to share with you some practices that help me. When I say practices I don’t mean that I consciously work at these on a regular basis – for me it’s much less formal than that, and more an integral part of life.

But if I find myself feeling miserable and wishing for silence then I do consciously focus on these.

Anatomy of the Ear

Information about Pulsatile Tinnitus

Pulsatile tinnitus, to give the pulsing in the ears its correct term, can in rare cases be an indication of a serious medical condition. In the vast majority of cases the cause is benign, but if you experience this do get it checked out by a specialist doctor. Around 3% of people with tinnitus experience pulsatile tinnitus, and like, me, many have it along with continuous tinnitus. It is the form of tinnitus most people find bothersome, and luckily it is also the form most likely to be cured.

Focused Breathing Can Help Feelings

Try this short exercise and see what happens. You can read it through first and then give it a go.

Focus on your breathing. Allow the breath to come and go naturally without trying to force change, and notice that as you do this it will naturally begin to slow down. Now focus on how you are breathing: shallow breathing into your chest, especially mouth breathing, creates stress in the body, which leads to anxiety and could make tinnitus worse.

Now close your mouth and consciously breathe more deeply, allowing your stomach to expand with each in-breath. At first you might find it easier to do this lying down, placing your hands on your stomach. If you spend about 10 minutes a day doing this it will help you feel calmer. It’s also a good idea to become more conscious of your breathing throughout the day and use it to help you stay calm. This technique also has the added bonus of taking your mind off the tinnitus.

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Choose to reframe

Reframe

I find it enormously helpful to remind myself that tinnitus is not dangerous, not life threatening and not even painful. It’s just a noise – or several noises. (But please read the note about Pulsatile Tinnitus in the blue box.) My father has been living with cancer for three years and has constant pain in his spine as a result. A friend of mine died of the same cancer last year and another friend of mine died of cancer three years ago, leaving behind two young children. Compared to that, tinnitus is a dot on the horizon in an ocean of suffering.

That’s one way I reframe the tinnitus, and another is to think back to a year ago when I told a friend about the pulsing sound (and yes I was looking for sympathy!) My friend said, “That would be reassuring, to hear your heartbeat.” He has raised cholesterol, and his father died of a heart attack in middle age, so I can see his point!

Yet another reframe I often do is to notice that some of the sounds I hear are similar to the sea. I love to be by the sea, so as I notice the sounds in my head, I imagine the sea. All of these practices mean that noises no longer seems unbearable and I don’t feel like a tinnitus sufferer or victim. That leaves me feeling much happier.

You will have your own stories like these, so use them to reframe for yourself.

Take each moment as it comes

In some ways this is similar to reframing. Notice the thoughts and beliefs you have about tinnitus, and in particular watch out for beliefs such as: “It’s unbearable," or “There isn’t any cure so I’m stuck with this forever.” Now notice the images that come with those thoughts. Are those images of you forever stuck feeling weighed down and unhappy because of tinnitus? And how do those images make you feel? Do they make you feel overwhelmed and maybe even depressed?

You are not alone. Since we constantly hear that there is no cure for tinnitus it’s not surprising that many people feel this way. Especially if tinnitus is new to you, it can seem frightening and overwhelming to read that there is no cure. What I find is that both believing there is no cure and hoping for a cure leave me feeling powerless, whereas when I simply focus on this moment, I feel calm.

Notice that what makes tinnitus feel unbearable is not what’s happening right now, but our thoughts about it. When instead we focus on this moment we can cope. Each moment is bearable because we are bearing it. It’s not necessary to have spent years learning meditation to focus on this moment. My suggestion is to observe your thoughts, notice when they are racing off into scary scenarios and then focus on the objects around you, or on whatever you happen to be doing - at what’s actually here right now.

If you struggle to sleep, focus on the feel of the bedclothes, of the pillow beneath your head, the colors in the darkness (you’ll be surprised!) Again this takes you back to what’s here right now, and that might include the sounds in your head. When you notice the sounds, as best you can, do it in the same way you notice the feel of the bedclothes - with neutrality.

If you have resistance to this suggestion, that’s absolutely normal, because if you have been focused on trying to change your situation it may seem at first that this is pointless. But it’s one way that works very effectively for me, so consider giving it a go.

Welcome your feelings and let go

If I find myself feeling frustrated with the endless noise, I do my best to welcome that frustration and any other feelings such as self-pity or hopelessness.

Welcoming does not mean wallowing. It means allowing the feelings to be there and allowing them to go. You don’t need to try to get rid of them; willingness is all it takes. This might seem alien at first, especially if you are used to pushing away feelings or have been trying to think positively about your situation. But when we welcome what we feel right now, it doesn’t mean we must try to “put up with it”, or that it will always be this way. We simply open and acknowledge that in this moment we feel frustrated (or whatever feeling we have), and that it’s okay to feel that way. This in itself is enough to ease our feelings.

By welcoming what we feel in this moment we open to change, because our energy is no longer being used to resist what is. That frees us to be open to solutions we might not have considered before.

One Possible Cure

While researching for this article I came across one such possible solution, Tinnitus Retraining Therapy. It seems that tinnitus may not be caused by irreparable damage to our cochlea after all, but because our hearing is over sensitive.

Our brains all have the ability to filter out noises, so that someone living next to a railway ceases to notice the sound of the trains, or a mother can sleep through a thunderstorm but wake with her baby’s whimper.

It seems that it is the meanings we give sounds that determine whether or not we go on hearing them and that the key to lessening the effects of tinnitus is in relearning to filter out the sounds we don’t need to hear. Although sound patterns are generated in our ears, it is in our brains that we become aware of sounds. Therefore it is with our brains that we can learn to let go of what tinnitus-retraining therapists refer to as the conditioned response, our reaction to sounds.

I am excited to have come across Tinnitus Retraining Therapy and I will be looking into it further and will write more on it in the future. Maybe it will be that soon all of us with tinnitus can all once again hear the sound of silence.

Read More about Tinnitus Retraining Therapy

• This website has extensive information on Tinnitus Retraining Therapy: Tinnitus and Hyperacusis Centre
• And this is a short introductory article from deafness research.org.uk: Simplified tinnitus retraining therapy reduces tinnitus distress

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

© 2012 Yvonne Spence

Comments

Pamela Nichols from Soonergal444 Oklahoma on January 29, 2020:

Hello Yvonne, I find this Hub encourging and like the methods you've employed to deal with this condition. I do not suffer from it but my dad does and it has so affected his hearing. I'm going to share this with him. Thanks!

Pamela

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on August 09, 2017:

Hi Sue, sorry that you have developed tinnitus. I'm glad that this article helped a bit though and you are wise to not let it take over your life. I'd say the less you focus on it, the more bearable it is, though at first it can seem awful so I can understand it feels stressful to you just now. I wish you well, and thanks for your comment.

Sue on August 04, 2017:

Hi Yvonne,

Thank you for this article - I have only just developed tinnitus over the past 3-4 weeks and have yet to go through testing which I am having done over the next couple of weeks. The first thing I am looking at is a way to cope with it in the best way possible as the constant noise is really stressful. Am so pleased I found your article which makes a lot of sense to me and will take your advice on board and try some of your methods above. It gets to the stage at times where you just want to bang your head against the wall with it. However, I refuse to let it take over my life - so onwards and upwards - and thank you again for this most helpful advice.

Warm regards

Sue

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on June 04, 2013:

Hi nifwiseirff, sorry to read that you've developed pulsatile tinnitus. It does take some getting used to. It must be hard with the increased migraines and headaches too - wishing you the best with getting some relief for it all, and I hope these tips do help.

Thanks for your comment.

Kymberly Fergusson from Germany on May 30, 2013:

I've just developed pulsatile tinnitis, possibly as a side effect to an endometriosis medication which causes increased migraines and headaches (and pressure around the aural nerves). It's disturbing to say the least! I hope it will go away when I stop the medication in 6 months or so.

Thank you for sharing a few tips that will make dealing with it easier!

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on November 26, 2012:

Hi yahwhon,

I am sorry to see that you are having such a difficult time with tinnitus. I hope you try some of the suggestions here because, while I realise from what you've written that you probably don't feel that anything can help, these techniques do help. You say you don't understand how I can say it doesn't depress me or keep me up at night: these techniques are why.

I also suggest that you get some support for your panic attacks and anxiety. I have felt my tinnitus greatly increase when I've felt anxious. It can become a vicious circle: you feel anxious about the tinnitus and anxiety increases the tinnitus, which makes you feel even more anxious. Getting help for your anxiety can break that circle. I don't know where you live, so don't know what facilities you have available, but, if you can, ask your doctor for some support for anxiety. CBT is a form of therapy that many people with tinnitus find very helpful. (I haven't tried it, but only because I use a similar process.)

You truly don't have to go on suffering, and I feel sure that if you told a few trusted friends how you feel that they would want to support you.

I am very glad that you have expressed your feelings here, and I hope you don't feel quite so alone now. Please do leave another comment if you have any questions and I wish you well.

yahwhon on November 24, 2012:

I don't understand how you can say it doesn't depress you, doesn't keep you up at night, etc. I have had it for 15 years now and its killing me, its so loud I have panic attacks daily and anxiety all the time. I resorted to alcohol for years only to end up in hospital with heart arithmias and ectopic beats so have been dry now for 3 years, tried every pill out to knock me out at night just so that i can sleep. Nothing works and nothing helps, it's a loud, hot peircing sound in my head, it drives me insane . I am in tears on many occasions, it has stopped me from doing almost everything, I don't enjoy anything anymore, I hate going out ,everyone is happy except me, people don't see my pain, they don't know why I am always sad, pleas if there is a god "Help me"

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on November 17, 2012:

serenetm, thank you very much for your comment. I am glad you found this useful, and it sounds as if you are coping well with tinnitus nowadays.

serenetm on November 16, 2012:

What a great post! So happy there is so much info out there on learning to accept & deal with tinnitus. I was so lonely & frustrated back in 1983 at 25 years of age & no one to take me seriously. Melovy, you have provided many people with great knowledge about this, thank you.

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on October 15, 2012:

kaz, I'm not sure if you meant that comment that had a link on it, but I had thought I'd deleted it, and have made sure it is deleted now. You have my sympathies in your suffering and I hope some of these suggestions help you get some relief.

kaz on October 13, 2012:

Iam suffering and what some creaturs think is how to sell their products where is humanity?

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on September 30, 2012:

Hi Martin, I am sorry to hear you have found tinnitus difficult and distressing, but not surprised because so many people do feel that way. I think that stress plays a big part in aggravating it, so anything that reduces stress will help.

I am glad you found this helpful, and thanks very much for leaving a comment.

Martin on September 30, 2012:

Thank you for this article. I've had tinnitus for 6 years now. Initially, it was incredibly difficult, distressing, and depressing, but I managed to learn to ignore it... Recently, as some commenters have put it, it's become 'angry' and, as such, has forced its way to the forefront of my thoughts (and has brought back the distress, depression, etc). Times like these are very difficult; I just have to remind myself that it may return to being just a noise I ignore, rather than something I obsess about. Your article helps me believe that the former may yet be a possibility.

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on September 23, 2012:

Glenn, I agree acceptance is hugely important in coping. I'm still waiting to get tinnitus retraining - it takes a long time in the UK but your comment has reminded me I planned to ring up and find out if the clinic has forgotten me!

I'm very glad you think this useful and thanks for your comment.

Glenn Stok from Long Island, NY on September 23, 2012:

There are so many claims out there with cures for tinnitus, that it was refreshing to read your hub where you talk about the truth instead.

As a sufferer of tinnitus myself, I appreciate the way you explained the coping mechanisms. I find that I can live with my tinnitus simply by accepting it.

From my own experience, I can agree with you that there are methods that can be used to help. Such as the retraining method, and focusing on other things, as you had mentioned in your hub. The methods you discussed are very good reminders for people with tinnitus to review from time to time and make use of. Voted up.

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on April 22, 2012:

Hi gramarye,

I am really pleased to hear the breathing exercise helped. I recently read that when we deep breathe it actually changes our brainwaves from beta breathing which is how most of us are most of the time to alpha breathing which is how we are in meditation or prayer. So, if this is the case, not only does it take our minds off the tinnitus it also helps us to shift into a more life-enhancing way of thinking. It does seem to me that this could be right, because deep breathing is very relaxing.

Thanks for your comment and the vote up!

gramarye from Adelaide - Australia on April 21, 2012:

Thanks for this great hub. I have had tinnitus for many years. I have heard about the retraining, but didn't know much about it. I did find that when I focused on breathing as you suggested that I didn't notice the ringing so much. Voted up

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on March 08, 2012:

HI Bob,

I think I do know what you mean about when tinnitus gets “angry.” The noise levels to vary quite a bit, but I’m not sure whether that’s because sometimes I pay them more attention. It sounds as if you cope very well and I agree it would be nice to have silence again!

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on March 08, 2012:

Hi BayAreaLawyer,

Thanks very much for your reply. I find it very encouraging to know that your tinnitus just went away.

BayAreaLawyer from San Francisco Bay Area on March 08, 2012:

@melovy, yeah it just went away on its own, but it did scare me and since then I'm always careful to wear earplugs at concerts, etc.

diogenes on March 08, 2012:

I have had severe tinnitis since about 1983. It began when i went onto blood pressure medication (I think) and may have been associated with that at the start. It is worse in my left ear. I don't pay much attention unless it gets "angry," if you know what I mean then it is stressing. I hope one day the medical fraternity finds a cure for this silence-robbing affliction.

Great article.

Bob

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on March 07, 2012:

Hi Veronica,

First, thanks for letting me know how you came across the hub, that’s really great!

I think doctors often don’t know what to do to help people with tinnitus, which is a bit frustrating. I have tried many alternatives too, but so far none made a much difference so I am keen to learn more about tinnitus retraining therapy. (I’m still waiting for an appointment.)

Thanks for you comment and glad you enjoyed the hub.

Veronica Young on March 07, 2012:

This is a great article!

I have tinnitus and just happened to come across the article through HubPages Twitter stream.

I've been to a few doctors who told me it was just pulsatile tinnitus and not a tumor, but it's extremely fustrating nonetheless. I still don't know how I got it.

Thanks for a great hub!

VeronicaInspires - A fellow hubber

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on March 05, 2012:

Hi BayAreaLawyer,

I am heartened to hear that you no longer have tinnitus. Did you have any treatment or did it go away by itself? I’m sure the other people who have commented would also love to hear. If you write a hub about it let me know and I will link to this one.

Thank you so much for your comment.

BayAreaLawyer from San Francisco Bay Area on March 05, 2012:

I can only imagine how horrible it must be to be a sufferer of tinnitus. I've experienced it when I was younger, but thankfully haven't had it in years.

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on March 05, 2012:

Hi Made, glad to know you found it interesting.

Thanks for your comment.

Yvonne Spence (author) from UK on March 05, 2012: