Chronically Ill but I'm Still Finding Diamonds

Updated on January 4, 2019
Diana Majors profile image

I'm Diana, happily married, and blessed by God on a daily basis. I live with chronic illnesses, but I don't let that get me down!

Diamonds are waiting to be discovered!
Diamonds are waiting to be discovered!

Chronically Ill

I'm chronically ill. So far, I've been diagnosed with neurocardiogenic syncope (NCS) and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS). I'm also battling something the doctors have yet to figure out that causes extreme dizziness that never goes away, imbalance issues, and frequent falls from both symptoms, among other issues.

For those of you who also fall under the umbrella of "chronically ill," you know it means we won't get well. We may get a little better. We may experience good days and fun times. Getting well like we used to be isn't necessarily in our future. It just isn't.

But. There's always a "but," right? But, just because I'm ill doesn't mean I'm not blessed. Sometimes it's only when life gets us really down that we are able to see the true and lasting treasure God has planned for us.

We are able to see diamonds where others see only coal. We can see light where others see only darkness. We are able to appreciate life's simple blessings that others may take for granted.

I'm certainly not talking badly about those who are well; conversely, I'm so glad they are! I wish we all were in good health, able to come and go as we wished, to be able to walk and run and jump without a thought of how it affects our bodies. To be carefree like that is a blessing!

Bella, one of our cats, is a blessing to me.
Bella, one of our cats, is a blessing to me. | Source

The Good Days

I don't mean the good ol' days, but the good days. The days we feel more alive, more energetic, and more alert. On those days, I'm able to walk up and down my porch steps a few times to enjoy the outdoors. I may even be able to water the flowers in my small flower garden. I feel like trying to vacuum a bit of the house (I've learned I'm not able to vacuum the whole house in one day; I'm only able to accomplish that in pieces).

Those who are chronically ill consider "good" days in different ways. Some may experience a little less pain. Some may consider it a blessing to be able to have the energy to play with their children in the backyard. Still others may consider a good day when they are able to go to the big box store and still have the mental fortitude to go grocery shopping afterward.

The Bad Days

On the flip side, people with a chronic illness have bad days. Like the good days, there is a whole spectrum of examples of a bad day.

I don't know about you, but on my bad days, I suffer from brain fog causing me to simply stare at the computer screen without a single thought in my head, completely unable to process the information that earlier made perfect sense to me. I also get so dizzy that walking without support isn't an option. Only by holding onto the walls and living room furniture am I able to get around. Bird watching through the windows is as close as I can get to being outside, and trust me, I absolutely love being outdoors.

I have a close family member who has fibromyalgia, and has pain all day every day. Of course she has good days, but on her bad days, I only hug her in greeting with as much pressure as she hugs me with. The impulsive hard-squeezing hugs cause her more pain, and I'd never purposefully hurt her for anything, so I've learned to be more gentle in our happy greetings.

The Ugly Days

Yes, we have good days. Folks with a chronic illness also have bad days. I hope that the use of the term "ugly" days made those of you "spoonies" smile a little. Okay, maybe you didn't smile; perhaps you internally nodded your acknowledgement of an ugly day's existence. Why would someone do that, you ask? It's because we've been there, and we survived that horrible day, that's why.

Ugly days are the days where we may not be able to get out of the bed or where someone may be in such severe pain, they may only be able to concentrate on breathing.

My ugly days seem very long, like there are at least 25 hours are in that day. I may not be able to turn my head without being overwhelmed with nausea. I may have to crawl to the kitchen to try to get something to drink. I just sit somewhere in a comfortable chair in the living room and just exist some days. I can't read a book, play on my cell phone, or write a letter. I just exist until bedtime, or whenever it is I'm finally able to go to sleep.

Hitting Rock Bottom

Having an illness that will never go away is a life-changing experience in many ways, and it takes a strong person to live that life. If we don't consider ourselves strong at the onset, with time we realize that we are.

I've recently hit what I consider to be my rock bottom. When multiple specialists told me they couldn't help me, I broke. I held it in for a while, trying to internally process the information they gave me. I was foolishly relying on myself to be able to deal with the loneliness, the heart-wrenching thought I'd never be able to find help. I resisted talking it over with anyone, because somehow saying it all aloud would make it too real.

Many people diagnosed with a chronic illness experience hopelessness and intense depression. Personally, I know I experienced both of these, along with being frustrated at the situation. I was wishful of a full recovery, yet unable to get my earlier optimism back. I was physically and mentally fatigued. I cried often, I yelled and screamed in tears in the privacy of my home while my husband was at work. I wanted to be angry, but I didn't hold God or anyone responsible.

I felt like this until I finally broke down in tears one night and confided all this to my caring husband in a bumbling, weeping mess, while he embraced me tightly. He reminded me of what, or I should say who, is important and should be my focus.

Look beyond the coal.
Look beyond the coal.

Finding Diamonds

Remember when I said all some people see is coal instead of seeing anything valuable? That's where I was when I hit rock bottom, and all I could see were the dark rocks in my path.

That all changed the night I was reminded of the diamonds God has given us! Big bright diamonds are all around, but I was blinded to their presence because of my fear and sadness.

I am so blessed to have my family and friends who support and love me. I may have felt all alone, with no one who understands, but that isn't the case at all! Even better, I don't only have the physical family but also my spiritual Christian family is there for me and are praying for me. That's a diamond!

Yesterday, I was listening to the radio while in the shower and I heard the song titled "Why So Downcast O My Soul" and when I started singing this song, I questioned myself. With all these diamonds I'm surrounded with, why should I be so downcast? Why should I still be trying to carry all this burden myself? I immediately began praying, and God answered my prayer by lifting the pressure from my heart almost instantly. I actually felt lighter! God is so good to me!

Whatever it is that is troubling me, such as my health (or seeming lack thereof), is temporary. To know and believe that is also a diamond given by God.

The biggest diamond? I'm bound for heaven! One day, this chronic illness will be taken from me, and I'll never be sick ever again! I will walk the streets of heaven and sing everlasting praise to the Creator. What a day that will be!

"Why So Downcast O My Soul"

Seek and Find Diamonds, Too!

If you're reading this and you don't have a chronic illness, be thankful. If you do have a chronic illness, be thankful. No matter our condition in life, our finances, or our jobs, we can all be thankful. And we can all find the diamonds in our own lives.

So when you feel the pressure of the world on your shoulders and you think you've hit your lowest point, look closely and see the diamonds in your life!

Treasures are always present; they're just waiting to be discovered!

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

© 2017 Diana Majors

What "diamonds" have you found in your life? I'd love to hear about them!

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Diana Majors profile imageAUTHOR

      Diana Majors 

      3 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Mr Sonny, I agree with you! I think they can't imagine what that must be like, so they may not try to empathize with our situation. Some "healthy" people are compassionate, though. The "diamonds in the rough", if you will. Yes, Jesus has our backs, and that makes every day brighter!

    • profile image

      Mr Sonny 

      3 years ago

      Well put.smiles are hard sometimes most people don't understand. They just think because they can jump out of bed and go about their day everyone else should too. But with some of us we wonder how we are going to reposition our pillow.We give our little smiles because down deep we know Jesus has got our back. Love ❤️ pulls us through another day.amen

    • Diana Majors profile imageAUTHOR

      Diana Majors 

      3 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thank you for your kind consideration! I agree with coal's usefulness, and my hat is off to all those hard workers in the coal industry. Diamonds are made when the coal is under intense pressure. I'm glad this gave you more insight. I hope it will do the same for others.

    • profile image

      Georgia Estes 

      3 years ago

      Thank you. This has given me more insight into your world. Coal is useful. It gives heat to warm cold bodies. But diamonds lift the heart and their beauty cheers the heart. I like how you worked their symbolism in your article.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)